


Regrets

by Souyoosk



Category: Free!
Genre: M/M, hinted makoharu - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-10
Updated: 2015-03-10
Packaged: 2018-03-17 05:48:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 810
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3517727
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Souyoosk/pseuds/Souyoosk
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Just a little drabble thing that I wrote based off the fireworks scene in season two. The ending isn't really there but it's 2am and all the endings I keep writing keep ending up awkward.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Regrets

Haru regretted every minute of the argument he had with Makoto during that last summer they had together as a part of the Iwatobi Swim Club. He never had the chance to apologize for being such an ass that night and sticking a knife right where it would hurt the most. Haru had a little bit of regret the moment after, when he felt his best friend’s hand pull away and as he saw the light diminish in those clear green eyes right before he looked away and broke Haru’s sense of security in the next moment. The fireworks in the background had nothing on the explosion of Haru’s world in that very moment. The only thing he could even fathom doing at that exact moment was running. Turning his back on whatever else Makoto had to say and quite possibly changing both of their fates.

Haru thought about this occasionally as he lie in his bed, no longer to do anything but dream of what could have been and wish that he had the strength to stay longer that night and make up with his friend. Part of him reasoned that things were clearer with hindsight. He had no foresight into what would happen later that night as Makoto went home alone.

If Haruka’s parents hadn’t called a few hours after Haru had gotten home, he’d never had known that while he passed out after crying, Makoto was in critical condition after being hit by a drunk driver on the way home. He never made it through the night.

And Haru didn’t get to say goodbye.

It hurt too much to think about at first. He lost his best friend. His closest friend and probably the person that understood him better than even himself was gone. Haru had barely begun to realize he didn’t entirely do things of his own accord. All of the happy things he’d been through were all due to Makoto’s gentle nudging.

Haru didn’t leave his house for days. Barely ate or bathed. He ignored all phone calls and locked his doors to keep his other friends away. He couldn’t deal with the guilt he felt and the idea of them seeing him just made it so much worse.

 

He refused to go to the funeral.

When the day came, he could barely stand to change out of pajamas. It wasn’t until he received a call from Makoto’s parents that he finally spoke to someone.

“Haru-chan,” It was Makoto’s mom. “I think Makoto would like it if you came today. Please consider it and take care of yourself. It’s not your fault. We all love you. Makoto never stopped loving you for a minute either. Just remember that.”

She waited a moment before hanging up, letting everything sink in and hoping that Haru would say something after his week of near silence.

“Thank you.” It was almost too quiet to hear, but it gave her a little smile before she finally hung up.

 

Haru didn’t show up to the funeral, but he did visit the fresh grave a few hours after everyone else had left. Or so he had thought.

Rin, Rei, Nagisa, and Kou were still there. His eyes went wide as he saw them and he tried to back away so that he could mourn and say his piece with no one around, but Rin must have caught the movement and glared. “Where have you been? Out of everyone that was here today, you should’ve been one of them! Where the hell have you been this past week? You’re not the only one that’s hurting! I-we, we all loved him too.”

Rin’s tone quickly turned from rage to disheveled sobbing and seemed to collapse on himself.

“We all miss him too, Haruka-senpai.” Rei could barely contain his tears and his voice wavered as he spoke.

“Haru-chan, Mako-chan wouldn’t like it very much if you’re not taking care of yourself and keeping away from everyone.” Nagisa sniffled and walked toward Haru, “You know that he forgives you and loves you for who you are. He was so loyal because he loved you.”

Haru was shaking, yet he found a way to move forward, despite the lead weights that seemed to fill his legs. By the time he reached the grave marker, tears were falling freely down his cheeks and everyone was holding or touching him reassuringly.

“I’m sorry, I am so so sorry Makoto. If I could take everything back and do it all over again, I would. I miss you so much and I would trade our positions if I could because you deserve to be here more than me. I love your meddling and everything you’ve ever done and sacrificed for me. I’ve noticed it all and I meant to repay you for it all. You didn’t deserve this. I’m so sorry…”


End file.
